I havent entered anything since I made this site, but I am about to use it to vent a week and a half's worth of shit. So here goes my vapor fecal matter expulsion.

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So it was friday already, and tomorow was to be the day we left for seaside (florida).  My dad had told me I had to move the raft which I am/was/unknown if i still am working on away from the house for the damn prospective housebuyers... i dont give a shit if its a bit of an eyesore to some random asshole who wants to buy our house.  but none the less I was deteremined to finish it by- you know what fuck this this is not interesting whatsoever even to me writing it because i already know what happened and the only thing which is interesting is the thoughts which i was thinking which have since seeped their way into the far right hemisphere becoming parts of my mental existance and no longer logical memories.  this is what happens to thoughts which you dont put down when they arrive , they lose their status as memory and become a part of your comprehension.  unfortunately i am convinced (not that i am convinced but the fact here after) that most worthwile understanding as i know it cannot often be conveyyed to another in words books speaking but only can be learned through experience and perhaps observation of experience... anyways.  seaside- fuck. it was a very nice place very very picturesque which my already obsolete camera broke while i was there so i guess if u wanna see it watch the truman show it was filmed there. well ive decided about as whimsically as ive posted this im not going to put any more effort into communicating random thoughts experiences through such a mediocre medium as this site. unless somone wishes otherwise.  ill stick to venting to friends. (409) 898-4030.

so now that ive created a xanga site i have been allowing a select few people to listen to my songs in their unfinished form.  its been quite helpful to improvement of the songs and understanding various flaws, both changable and unchangeable.  a good majority of people overall take a certain liking to the stuff so im grateful for that also.  i decided to expand the simple home http server into something capable of relaying multiple sound files, and perhaps some short documentary on them as many of them need understanding since i have not nor wish to take the time to properly record and mix them.  there is alot of musical experimentation, mainly with my bass since that is the instrument with which i am very familiar.  alot of exploration of various elements of the sounds of chaos.  chaos is basically playing notes, attempting randomness, focusing on forgetting, but not avoiding, musical scales and musical logic.  what results is a result of the age old law of nature that the human brain is incapable of creating randomness, and when we try what actually happens is we silence the part of our brain which we normally listen to, our concience. the left. the part people assume is all there is. however thats only half of the spectrum, and the other, as it happens, is ALOT better at making music.  for evidence reference the file named quakeroats.mp3 located in the experimental section of my music. i dont remember what i call it on that site (upon looking over it again i found its entitled "A Beautiful Attempt at Chaos Gone Civilized", it is 738 kb and is the only one that number of kb so download it, listen, understand chaos (music). i normally just say chaos simply because music doesnt really describe it.  but anyways the creation of the small http server site makes me happy that i can share some of whats in me with you and i hope maybe some people with dormant musical aspects to their characters will bring them to a state of awareness and do somethings perhaps like me in regards to sharing your music, getting input, producing an open forum for improvement etc etc etc.  i see what i would like to happen and i take a step twards it. so far its going very well.